wonton, needy, spoiled rotten, poor little bitch.

dammit.
i cant find anything.
where is my sewing machine?
where are you?



oh.
wait.
i know where you are.
you are in a check to Jupiter Realty.
thats where you are.

i am going to stop paying my rent so i can sew all day and make shit like this:





i may be homeless.
but thats so in right now.
fuck a home.
i want to look fabulous.



but before i do.
i am also in the process of mentally and emotionally decorating my loft.
i feel disconnected.
like im just moving in a space.
and not actually living there.
i need blood rushing.
air moving.
i need things on the walls.
everywhere.
hanging. dangling.shining.





everywhere.
ticking tocking burning breathing





everywhere.

i want to wake up and be inside of someone elses mind.
others eyes everywhere everywhere.

this is it.
i want it all and i want it now.
i want it now.
this is my life.
constantly grasping at straws.
trying to find the needle in the haystack.
i want i want i want
me me me.
chin up.
hand out.