america, fuck yeah.

so today i was feel a tad lackluster.
and i wasnt going to write anything in this overly advanced Casio Diary.
that is until i saw this:



i mean, he's just putting it out there.
good job matty.


and then i happened to find out that MIA is putting out a clothing line....
what?



yes. her music is fresh.
and yes she is the hott shit and so on and so forth.
but.
whats with the watermelon Mia?
and does AA already make those leggings?
and how do you think poor little south african blipsters are gonna afford a 75 dollar tee?
selling blood diamonds?
yikes.


last but not least,
it is september 11th and the only thing im gonna say is:

What's Al Qaida's favorite football team?
The New York Jets

Did you hear about American Airlines new deal?

They’ll fly you straight from the airport to the office.

Me: knock knock.

U: who's there?

Me: 9/11

U: 9/11 who?

Me: you said you'd never forget....

i know.. i know... but msnbc told me to do it.


oh yeah.
and my friends cousin Tatiania Moore is in the October Issue of HUSTLER mag.
shes pretty hot for an azn.
check it out.
if you can find it.
apparently the fact that is has full on vag penetration and cumshots means it can be sold at Barnes & Nobles, Borders,Books a Million, 7 eleven....
we searched all day yesterday
and finally found it at our local Arab run convenience store.
god bless em.

heavens to ESTY.

i am usually not one to spend my days lurking the net for fashions i cant afford.
but today.
oh today.
i have found heaven in a mouse click.

this:


miss bruno you slay me.
i would wear this until it turns into part of my skin.
and for $268 bucks. it better.

and these...

$100 dollar sweater bangles.
that are not made of cashmere. and do not turn into real sweaters when soaked in water.
so besides the fact that they are amazingly adorable and are not made in Indonesia by 8 year old kids, i cant find a reason dole out the dough to own them.

*sigh*

and then, just when i had given up on over priced apparel.
she found me....



this lil lady has combined all my lesbian and Hayden Ashbury fantasies in one.
but no true the heart hippie would pay $120 to look this tie die.
peace nicfish.

my heart has also fallen pray to small trinkets that i can wear in my hair and on my neck.
things that make me look like i just stepped out of Hogwarts Academy into the streets of Johannesburg, South Africa. Like these fuckers...



god damnit!
why are clothes so expensive??
why do i need to so much for cotton and elastic and thread ?
why dont i get off my lazy ass, walk to my sewing machine and make everything i want?
i now realize.
after all this time of discussing my options in my head.
that i have to have these things or i will spontaneously combust.
i am going to whore my body, sell my soul, cast spells, kick, scream, cry, pray,rob, steal, fight, fuck or flea
until i have them all.