LOST, the incubus.

Damon Lindelof.
the raper.
the mind fucker.

there should be a law.
against cerebellum sodomy.
i feel like.

there was this guy.
and ive known him for a long time.
we were bffs.
like, superbad.
i love you man.
no homo.

and then.
one day.
we ate some salvia.
and he flipped out.
and started speaking in tounges.
and spittin out pea soup.
and came back to the island.
and shot ben.
and then didnt let the fucker die.
and then fucked everthing up.

I JUST DONT UNDERSTAND.

why let it play out.
why be so "reality time travel tv"
just go ahead.
kill ben.
fuck it all up.
make us think.
drag it on for 2 more seasons.

but no.
now we must sit here.
and watch it all.
ben becomes an other.
the purge.
peace out darma.
the others.
fight with widmore.

but who is ELLIOT??

i think elliot is locke.
but.
i just dont understand.

all this exposition.
do we really need it?

we all know the story.
and unless your gonna pull the rug.
we dont need to walk on it.

and i certainly wont take off my shoes.

stop fucking around.
Damon, and cum already.

It is one thing to spark up a doobie and get laced at parties, but it is quite another to be fried all day.

so this morning.
i get to work.
im at work.
and im just
you know
doin the things in my job description.
eating breakfast.
watering the plants.
checking my email profusely.
lallygagging on the internet.
making coffee.
well attempting to make coffee.
i got the water.
put the filter and the grounds in the basket.
placed it back on the coffee maker.
pressed the button.
and walked away.
time elapses.
my boss goes to get her coffee.
and for some reason there is none brewing.
we stand back, scratch our heads.
and curse Hamilton Beach ™
that is until we realize.
i haven't put the water in.
we laugh and say she says
"oh everyone has those mornings"
i laugh, she laughs, i make the damn coffee.

now things like this
don't happen to me often.
and by often i mean more than 5 times a week.
but when they do
i cant help but think
its all because i smoke weed.
although i dont smoke anywhere close to as much as i used to.

my relationship with mary jane is a true one.
she has been the closest person to me for years.
we used to do everything together.
wake up.
munch out.
we'd watch Cartoon Network
and LOST
and msnbc
and laugh about how angry
Keith Olbermann gets a republicans.
silly keith.
we'd play with the dogs .
and nap.
and go to bars.
and sleep in late.

me and mary were like two buds in a blunt.
although recently .
ive cut back to only taking rips on the weekends
instead of getting blasted
all day.
everyday.
and i can admit that even though
food doesn't taste as good.
and keith isnt as funny.
my head does feel much cleaner.
clearer.

so i guess
i cant directly relate all my fuck ups
and foibles to being roasted.
but.
still it makes me wonder.
if this is my brain now
today
sober.
then what was so wrong with
my brain on drugs?

america, fuck yeah.

so today i was feel a tad lackluster.
and i wasnt going to write anything in this overly advanced Casio Diary.
that is until i saw this:



i mean, he's just putting it out there.
good job matty.


and then i happened to find out that MIA is putting out a clothing line....
what?



yes. her music is fresh.
and yes she is the hott shit and so on and so forth.
but.
whats with the watermelon Mia?
and does AA already make those leggings?
and how do you think poor little south african blipsters are gonna afford a 75 dollar tee?
selling blood diamonds?
yikes.


last but not least,
it is september 11th and the only thing im gonna say is:

What's Al Qaida's favorite football team?
The New York Jets

Did you hear about American Airlines new deal?

They’ll fly you straight from the airport to the office.

Me: knock knock.

U: who's there?

Me: 9/11

U: 9/11 who?

Me: you said you'd never forget....

i know.. i know... but msnbc told me to do it.


oh yeah.
and my friends cousin Tatiania Moore is in the October Issue of HUSTLER mag.
shes pretty hot for an azn.
check it out.
if you can find it.
apparently the fact that is has full on vag penetration and cumshots means it can be sold at Barnes & Nobles, Borders,Books a Million, 7 eleven....
we searched all day yesterday
and finally found it at our local Arab run convenience store.
god bless em.