a woman obsessed.

this is serious.
i have to
must.
for the sake of my future.
stop spending money.
i have an addiction.
to the swipe and go.
i dont understand what my problem is.
he says all women have money issues.
and as far as this woman goes.
i think its true.
the way i rationalize it in my head.
is .
that i finally have the means.
so why not use them?
but.
i am unnecessary.
ive got to get a grip on shit.
but.
its so hard.
when you sit at a fucking desk all day.
and you have nothing to do.
but skim the worldwideweb for amazing things.
and yes, i could study.
or read a book.
or anything else.
but i dont.
i am a women obsessed.
and.
everytime it comes up.
all i can think about is.
all the many things i need.
like a new mattress .
and a dresser.
and so many things i want.
like a new sewing machine.
and cute boots with matching sweater vest.
and a fucking goddamn holga.
and sooo many things i have to do.
like pay rent.
and pay bills.
and save money.
and be a responsible adult.
but my priorities are crooked as a politician.
and i cant quite seem to straighten them out.

heavens to ESTY.

i am usually not one to spend my days lurking the net for fashions i cant afford.
but today.
oh today.
i have found heaven in a mouse click.

this:


miss bruno you slay me.
i would wear this until it turns into part of my skin.
and for $268 bucks. it better.

and these...

$100 dollar sweater bangles.
that are not made of cashmere. and do not turn into real sweaters when soaked in water.
so besides the fact that they are amazingly adorable and are not made in Indonesia by 8 year old kids, i cant find a reason dole out the dough to own them.

*sigh*

and then, just when i had given up on over priced apparel.
she found me....



this lil lady has combined all my lesbian and Hayden Ashbury fantasies in one.
but no true the heart hippie would pay $120 to look this tie die.
peace nicfish.

my heart has also fallen pray to small trinkets that i can wear in my hair and on my neck.
things that make me look like i just stepped out of Hogwarts Academy into the streets of Johannesburg, South Africa. Like these fuckers...



god damnit!
why are clothes so expensive??
why do i need to so much for cotton and elastic and thread ?
why dont i get off my lazy ass, walk to my sewing machine and make everything i want?
i now realize.
after all this time of discussing my options in my head.
that i have to have these things or i will spontaneously combust.
i am going to whore my body, sell my soul, cast spells, kick, scream, cry, pray,rob, steal, fight, fuck or flea
until i have them all.

ebay is the devil.

if i spend one more penny.
on random.
new without tag.
hard to find.
timeless.
beautiful.
anything.
i will have to file for bankruptcy.
what a horrible terrible no good very bad invention.