getting nowhere fast.

shit man.
for some reason.
its hard for me.
to get anything done at home.
all this free time.
i had.
and nothing.
i did nothing.

all those library books.
not read.
all those flyers to make.
not made.
all those plans for my workshop.
not set forth.
that membership to the YMCA.
never used.
ebay sales.
not shipped.
friends i never see.
not seen.

i did on the other hand.
crochet a camo scarf.
wake up at 7 ever morning.
to play katamari damacy.
watch every episode of LOST to date.
and managed to get the boy hooked on it too.
sneak cigarettes.
drink way to much, alone.
interneted.
pouted.
made tuna.
had alot of really good sex.

i attempted to rage on saturday night.
i went to jers.
and threw up before i left the house.
lollygagged.
bullshitted.
did not rage.
what so ever.
called the boy.
he picked me up at 12:35.
went home.
watched LOST.

so.
ah.
i feel a little disappointed in myself.
do to the fact.
that i just cant seem.
to get shit done.
im lazy.
and distracted.
and scared of change.

so today.
im back at work.
and i feel ready to dive head.
first into all my obligations.
and yet.
i know.
that i wont.
ill sit here.
and look busy.
and get no where fast.