BOMBS OVER RICHMOND

Bombs Over Richmond
is a Seed Bomb Workshop.

Seed bombs are little capsules with everything you need to grow a plant all bundled up.

They are a great way to introduce vegetation and beautification onto barren, abandoned, or otherwise inhospitable spaces.

Come out and learn about a fun, cheap and easy way to bring new light to this city that we love.


FREE
Sunday, February 1st
1-3
Rumors Boutique



♥ ♥ ♥

dénouement.

ive been crying.
on and off for days.
months in fact.
im sure those tears.
had been there for years.
waiting.
pacing.

id felt them before.
trying to get out.
wanting to breathe.
begging for a way out.

and then.

sometime around.
november 4th.
i let them go.
and ever since.
ive been finding them.
slowly creeping down.
splashing on my chest.
some just simply fall away unnoticed.
these tears that run like rain.
and honestly.
and hope.


assured am i.
that i am not the only one.
who shares in this feeling.
this release.
this completion.
this force.
that can only be described as.
change.

its like an overwhelming sense.
of living.
i am aware.
i am absolutely coherent.
of my surrounding.
and they are changing.

this is magical.
this is completely magical.
and its widespread.
its everywhere.
its across the street.
its behind your desk.
its under your sheets.
its change.

i have been staring at this.

all day.
this brought the tears.
this brought out the passion.
these people.
with their stories.
and their lives.
these people.
who i will never meet.
never hold close.
their tears i cant touch.
but i feel them.

just staring at this photo.
i can feel them.
i know exactly.
what they are thinking.

its amazing.
how so far away.
so different.
so strange.

all this change.
doesnt change.
with the time zone.

all this hope.
it still floats.
overseas.

they feel it all.

it baffles me.
how deep your heart can go.
how much you can fill it with.
all these things i tuck away.
under vessels and veins.
pausing in between beats.
to change.

i want so badly to rip my skin off.
and give it away to the cause.

i want to open my chest.
and show the world.
that i am red, and soft and alive.
i want to hold hands over mountains.
and kiss underwater.

i cannot contain this love.
this emotions.
it spills out of me.
out of my mouth.
my face.
over my open hands.
on to the floor.
and out into this world.

i want to breathe life and mystery.
where before.
there was only science.
and fears.

i want to show them all.

this is it.
finally.
all of this has lead to here.
today.
to him.

the world as we know it has changed.

and since then.
i have been crying.
on and off for days.
and im sure those tears.
had been there for years.

but today.
i share them with the world.

my heart is full.

thank you

fine china.

hustle and flow.
ive been busy.
very busy.
and i like it.
initiative.
focus.
all that good shit.

i got it.

im ready.
lets do this.

sometimes.
i feel like tina turner.
post"eat the cake"
crazy as a fox.
but brilliant.
fabulous.
and proud.
with great legs.

rollin.

even if its down hill.
atleast its forward.

so.
in between lost.
ive been watching.
antique road show.
and so.
there's this old lady.
and shes got this bowl.

this dirty ass.
old ass bowl.
she kept " dvds and tapes"in it.
on top of her tv.
this old ass bowl.
$8,000.

yeah.

this was only to be followed by.
more old people.
and more old things.
awesome things.
not so awesome things.
things i want.
things i need.

and i think thats just unfair.
all these old people.
with all this old shit.
if only.
if i was 65.
85.
id have so much cool stuff.
and not just to sell.
but to live in.
and to absorb.
and cherish.

but i am not.
i am 22.
yet my mind.
is over the hill.
so i must hunt for these things.
and i will find them.
and i will live in the past.
and it.
will be wonderful.

BOMBS OVER RICHMOND

Bombs Over Richmond
is a Seed Bomb Workshop.

Seed bombs are little capsules with everything you need to grow a plant all bundled up.

They are a great way to introduce vegetation and beautification onto barren, abandoned, or otherwise inhospitable spaces.

Come out and learn about a fun, cheap and easy way to bring new light to this city that we love.


FREE
Sunday, February 1st
1-3
Rumors Boutique



♥ ♥ ♥



COME TO MY WORKSHOP.
IT WILL BE RAD.

LOST

HERE WE GO

taking mental health day.

best decisions ever.

wtf.

its amazing.
how fast a day.
can go from a pretty good.
kinda rad.
gnarly.
monumental.
history making experience.

to a fucking shitty ass.
terrible.
horrible.
no good.
very bad.
day.


fuck this.

stoked on change.

you betcha.

you gotta do, what you gotta do.

i just found out that one of my coworkers daughters died.
and im planning a trip to Boston.

apparently.
she was 32.
and morbidly obese.
and died of conjunctive heart failure.
it was her only child.
she has two grandchildren.
its 10:30 am.

this makes me think.
far to early in the morning.
about my life.
and my health.
and how i spent.
3 hours pounding whiskey.
then 24 throwing it up.

and how ive been in a fog.
for 3 weeks.
because ive been baking.
like a fucking Kebbler Elf.

and how i need to get my insides together.
in order to keep my outside intact.
and how i could die.
at any moment.
and how pissed off i would be.
if i did.

last night.
we laid in bed.
and he tried to talk about.
important things.
but i was to stoned to care.

i just laid there.
annoyed that the future.
is all he can fathom.
at 1:11 am.

and so we kissed.
and had sex.
i was high as a kite.
and i watched him.
underneath me.
enjoying himself.
enjoying me.
watching him truly believe.
in this moment.
this passion.
this lust between us.

i felt his hands.
feel different on my skin.
it seemed urgent.
and fleeting.
like if we didnt fuck right then.
right there.
we'd disappear for ever.


and i kissed him.
in hopes that he would come.
but for him this was emotional.
and he said i love you.
kissed me back.
and he came.
and that was that.

anything important.
was stuck to the sheets.
all thats impending.
was skin to skin.
arm around waist.
back to chest.
face to neck.
asleep.


sometimes he's like a child.
hes needy and wanton.
and i often forget.
that like a child.
you must feed, and nurture men.
rock them back and forth.
give them the nipple, or a bottle, or a toy.

it frequently slips my mind that.
that i am not the only one.
who is afraid of this.

i am not alone in my frustration.
and the politics.
of relationships.

i have to give.
more than i take.
i am selfish and spoiled.
and i am sure.
i will be the end to this.

but that will not come for awhile.
ive got more hell to make.
more lives to take.
more of this man to ruin.
destroy.

in the meantime.
we travel.

we are going places.
together.
alone.

we are going to Thailand.
we are going to DC.
right now.
im planning a trip to Boston.
its for his birthday.
Red Sox.
Marx Brothers.
Freedom Trail.
Bobby Brown?

this should be interesting.
to say the least.

we are in love.
and richmond has been
choking this life out of it.
and has left me no choice.
but to.
packing up this.
big bad love.

and drag around the world.
with me.
till it works.

all i have to do is stay black and die.

last night i made a decision.
to stop making decisions.
to stop living for a clock.
money.
and the future.

fuck tomorrow.
whats going down today.

i made the choice to not do it.
whatever it my be.
either way.
its not for me.

so today.
i was late to work.
i laid in bed.
far past my alarm.

i struggled with my bed sheets.
i wrestled with my pillows.
i knew what time it was.

i knew where i needed to be.
i heard my bus pass.

but i said fuck it.
i stayed warm on his chest.
i had great morning sex.
i ate apples.
and watched the sunrise.

and i didnt care.

i do what i want.

GET IN. WHERE YOU FIT IN.

HOLLA AT A PLAYA WHEN YOU SEE ME ON THE STREET.

FUCK SCHOOL.

this is me.

not stoked for school.
im kinda nervous.
my life is science.
but im a man of faith.
so we shall see.

the boy is going back to school.
he's 28 and its about time.
im proud of him.
this is a big month for us.
school.
his new job.
the prospects of my new job.
new year.

more bullshit.
to sift through.
more time apart.
more cigarettes.

im just ready.
im just ready to not have to do anything.
to get to the end of this rope.
to realize that this is it.

ive got time.
so much time.
left to waste.
and this clock.
is burning a whole in my pocket.

im taking an online course.
which is kinda tight.
i guess.
it gives me a reason.
to be on the internet.

is it 5?
is it 8:40?

long days here we go.

is it saturday yet?

live together, die alone.

five hours away from nothing.
and this is all i have left.
this island of temptation.
leading down a road of.
perpetual death.
to sail upon its oceans.
to bask in its descending gaze.
to be one with the seasons.
to change as quick as these fleeting days.

we are alone.
in our delusions.
we are silent.
with our dreams.
all of us.
subject to change.
we cross this line.
without malice.
born to this world.
in shocked and amaze.
always pushing.
slaving.
hoping away.
underneath the button.
we stand and we pray.

for what.

it seems honest.
it seems worthy.
and true.
we give ourselves up.
to something taunting.
and new.

we wait.

and we wonder.
we make plans.
and we go.
we settle.
for something.
yet always yearning for more.

here stuck.
in this snow globe.
there is no way out.
this is it.
on this island.
lost our direction.
and without.

Number 2 Patterson/Regency Square.

so.
its no secret.
im kinda nosey.
i lurk hardcore.
i dont consider myself a snoop.
as much as i do a sleuth.

like other people.
i like to know things.
and finding these things out.
comes easy to me.

im good at the hunt and peck.
search and seizure.

so when im on the bus.
this is fine time.
to learn some new info.
whether its about someones life.
their job.
the city.
its all out there.
its all juicy.
and its all interesting.

so on the bus last night.
this guy.
just a dude.
was one the phone.
chillin in the back.
talking bout this.
bout that.

then he mentions his niece.
about her getting "snatched up"
i immediately switch my focus.
from the lady at the fronts convo
about her babies daddies.
to his.
i listen.
he says things like.
" been gone for days"
and.
" the neighbors know"
"its her mommas fault"
"hope shes not raped"
"prolly wont find her"
"thrown out in some ditch somewhere"

so i put two and two together.
and come to the conclusion
that shes been kidnapped.

the man is so nonchalant.

it kinda freaks me out.
he makes a few more comments.
before shifting the conversation to pussy and cards.

but still.
the idea lingers in the bus.
it echos loudly from front to back.
im sure other were wondering the same.

i still am.
who and where and why?

i wanted so badly to pry.
to ask questions.
to pull the string.
run off.
and start searching then and there.
investigate.
dig deeper.

but yet.
i didnt.
instead.
i sat there.
ears wide open.
mind running wild.
lurking on the number 2.

Farewell Relish......

so.
i usually dont get involved in all this
economic bruhaha.
but this has really struck a cord.

Relish.
loving dubbed a " zen cafeteria"
a quaint lunch spot.
hidden in the trenches of Shockhoe Slip.
this restaurant.
offering Richmond.
a delectable international hot bar.
a neverending salad choices.
sandwiches.
coffee.
tea.
and homemade desserts.
in a fresh.
and classy atmosphere.

has closed its doors.
after only about 2 years of operation.

it was opened and owned by.
Micheal King.

the man behind.
Grace Place.
which opened in 1973.
and until its untimely VCU induced death
served the city of Richmond
with amazing international vegetarian cuisine.

i.
not being from Richmond,
and being fairly young.
never got the chance to enjoy
that place.
on Grace.
but i do recall the dilapidated building beside (the old) Exile.
and i do recall watching it being tore down.
to encompass new dorms.

and then.
Michel King went onto run the deli.
at everyone favorite natural food market.
Ellwood Thompsons.
bringing his organic brains and brawn.
to their kitchen.

and now.
in the 2009.
Micheal King has shut the doors.
to another fine dining experience.

i dont know why this upset me so much.
it could be because i loved the food.
or it could be because my boyfriend was the head chef.
or it could be.
the fact that
i cant stand watching all these wonderful.
marvelous.
necessary ideas fall to the wayside.

this fucking city man.
and im not blaming it on you guys.
i mean hell.
there are plenty of reasons restaurants fail.
Ramsey's Kitchen Nightmare has proven that.
its location.
its hours.
its staff.
its bad money management.
its a plethora of issues.
unseen to the dining eye.

but still.

its a shame.
and a pity.
to watch great ideas.
go to the grave.
far before their time.



RIP
Relish.
2007-2009

getting nowhere fast.

shit man.
for some reason.
its hard for me.
to get anything done at home.
all this free time.
i had.
and nothing.
i did nothing.

all those library books.
not read.
all those flyers to make.
not made.
all those plans for my workshop.
not set forth.
that membership to the YMCA.
never used.
ebay sales.
not shipped.
friends i never see.
not seen.

i did on the other hand.
crochet a camo scarf.
wake up at 7 ever morning.
to play katamari damacy.
watch every episode of LOST to date.
and managed to get the boy hooked on it too.
sneak cigarettes.
drink way to much, alone.
interneted.
pouted.
made tuna.
had alot of really good sex.

i attempted to rage on saturday night.
i went to jers.
and threw up before i left the house.
lollygagged.
bullshitted.
did not rage.
what so ever.
called the boy.
he picked me up at 12:35.
went home.
watched LOST.

so.
ah.
i feel a little disappointed in myself.
do to the fact.
that i just cant seem.
to get shit done.
im lazy.
and distracted.
and scared of change.

so today.
im back at work.
and i feel ready to dive head.
first into all my obligations.
and yet.
i know.
that i wont.
ill sit here.
and look busy.
and get no where fast.

so this is the new year...

and i dont feel any different.

this is supposed to be a time of reflection.
of starting a new.
refresh.
and yet.
here i am.
no resolutions.
nothing left to resolve.

and of course.
i am sure of.
things that are in need of change.
but still.
i feel no pull.
no shove.
no different.

despite.
searching my life.
for all the things i could change.
i cant find anything new.
that i didnt know before.

i smoke too much.
i spend to much.
i dont see enough.
i dont do enough.

all of these things i know.
and simply because the date has changed.
that doesnt mean i will.

and i have accepted this.
i have issues.
so many.
i need a magazine rack.

and?

so what.
this is me.
i am flawed.
and imperfect.
and difficult.

i am lp.

nothing more.
nothing less.
and nothing will change this.

no matter.
what i say ill do.
or what i commit to let go.

change starts from within.
and i am stubborn as a mule.

kicking and screaming.
i go into this new year.
holding onto my vices.
with a strong grip.

i will not give up.
i will not succumb.
i will not change.

in some aspects i love who i am.
i adore my indiscretions.
i find my imperfections.
perfect.

all these things.
have made me who i am.

i have nothing to hold onto.
but my loves.
my loves for trouble.
and sex.
and fire.
the night.
sin.
confrontation.
attention.
and him.

i love these things.
i have loved them for years.
and i will love them in 2009.

i am who i am.
i have been her for 22 years.

this is who i am.

this is it.