.OLD HABITS DIE YOUNG.

sometimes i just dont understand.
i feel like i want to scream out your eardrums.
and you just laugh.

theres nothing funny.
this isnt a joke at all.
you dont understand.

you are my downfall.

im trying.
im learning.
but i dont think this is the way.
i have to live my life myself.
and not for other people.
family lover friend or foe.
i have to do me.
thats all i know.
i tend to be emotional.
irrational.
rash blunt rude crude
im the truth.
and the truth hurt.
im life
and life is hard.
im love.
and love is pain.
can you feel it.
does it keep you up at night.
does your breathing get short.
your sweat white hot.
that me.
the itch you cant scratch.
i want to make you suffer
i want you to understand my rapture is mine to share.
to spread the wealth she doesnt have.
yes im selfish
yes im mean
yes im hard to get along with.
but fuck thats me.
i have bad habits
and panic attacks.
hidden behind a beautiful smile.
and crazy antics.
but thats not all.
you know i am and who im trying to be.
hiding behind close door what they dont see.
it hard to break and shake.
soften.
but your the one.
this i know is true.
old habits die hard.
and maybe i will too.