CIG FREE DAY 3- IRONY

out of all the days id choose to inhale.
today would be the day.
i actually took out my last snog.
sniffed it deep.
then put it away.
but oh what id give
to give in.
on this hell of motherfucking
so comical.
so humorous.
jagged little ironic
shitty ass day.
i find it familiarly funny.
how getting your hopes high.
only brings spirits lower.
ghostly recollections from past misconceptions.
its so stupid.
yet it seems.
my hearts feeling optimistic
but my skins screaming at the seams.
i dunno
what im going to do and i know its not that hard.
i feel bombarded with questions answers bruises scars.
im just ready.
one thing in another thing out.
im ready to get over this and under him
it down and settle in under his skin.
im gonna get through this rough patch no matter how tightly sewn.
ive got options.
that ive always known.
i can go this way or that.
up or around.
stand up or sit down.
its my life my body my heart my soul.
treat it like a temple or whore it till its sold.
my lungs might be iron.
but my will is too.
so i guess im excited.
to feel new and smell fresh.
to begin again.
again.
this time for real.
i guess once it happens
once we make that big move.
ill be able to take everything out of my head and lay it down in front of us both.
and we can piece together this jigsaw of thought.
i guess once im settled
and i can finally breathe
hopefully we can roll up our sleeves
dig deep into each other again.
pulling out the weed
rotating the crops.
they may have the land
but we’ve got the view.
and its blue skies.
fresh lungs.
and deep love.
smooth sailing.
with him at the bow.

me at the stern.